Some Misconceptions about Bullying
Most parents and teachers consider bullying as a normal part of the process of growing up for children. It is believed by them that being exposed to bullying toughens up children, to tackle real life situations in later life. Such thinking can lead to inaction when bullying takes place and cause irreparable damage to both victims and bullies. Allowing bullying to go unchecked causes the behavior to be reinforced for the bully and cause feelings of inferiority and insecurity in the case of the victim resulting in low self-esteem and depression.
Another wrong notion is that the bully’s behavior is due to his low self-esteem. This is based on the assumption that their behavior is to hide a feeling of inferiority. Most bullies are usually very confident and self-assured besides being popular. Bullying could well be their way of exercising control and strengthening their hold on the other children. Bullying is also usually a gang behavior as a method of being part of a group and fitting with the group. Popular children with a lot of friends use this background to dominate and control other children without realizing the damage that they cause by such behavior.
That bullying is a phenomenon associated with poor and lower class neighborhoods and schools, is another misconception that needs to be corrected. Bullying takes place in all types of societies and schools. Many schools with students from wealthy backgrounds too have the problem of bullying. These children feel that they are better than others and want to demonstrate this, by bullying as a means of establishing their superiority over others, perceived to be weaker.
Only male children become bullies is another myth that needs to be exploded. While it is true that most bullies are boys, girls too are capable of bullying others. While boys are mostly physical in their bullying, girls are subtler and use emotion as a tool. Innuendo, rumors and humiliating weaker classmates achieve the latter. Both types of bullying can have serious implications for the victims who may end up with major psychological problems in adulthood.
It is also believed that bullying is a high school phenomenon and does not affect younger children. Research however shows that it takes place in all age groups, but predominantly in middle school. The incidences of bullying in the elementary, and higher schools, is much lower. The most affected age group is 9 -13. At this age, children are just beginning to handle the stress of studying and pressure to belong. For some, bullying comes in handy as a behavior to handle these pressures.
It is also commonly believed that the victim’s intelligence is the target of insults to demean someone. On the contrary, research has shown that the most common subject is the child’s sexual orientation. This, as peculiar as it may sound, is the most common topic on which children tease each other. Finding such weaknesses makes it easy to find targets for bullying by smarter children. Coming to understand the truth behind the phenomenon of bullying will help us to prevent and stop bullying in schools.