If Your Child Is a Bully, What You Could Do
It is normal for children to tease each other in good humor without any adverse effects. When such teasing becomes aggressive, it is called bullying and such behavior can cause serious physical and emotional harm to other children. It is considered appropriate to treat the victim of bullying but it is better to stop bullying totally before too much damage is done. Let us look at it from the unusual angle of your child being the bully.
Some serious and some not so serious causes result in a child becoming a bully. Some of these causes can be easily taken care of and some so serious that action has to be taken before harm befalls both the bully and the victim. Children may bully other children due to low self-esteem, and bully other children to draw attention to themselves. They may also want to get in good terms with other bullies to be part of a group. It may be that they are victims of bullying by other children or even adults, and bully other children as a backlash behavior.
Instead of speculating, it is a good idea to talk to your child to find out exactly what has been going on in his life. Often, it may turn out that the bully himself is a victim of either bullying or some form of abuse. Get your child’s version of what motivates him to be a bully. Problems like wanting to draw attention, fitting in, low self esteem etc, all can be handled once the underlying cause has been discovered.
Your child must be made to understand that bullying is a serious matter that can result in grave consequences to both the bully and the victim if allowed to continue. Schools do not tolerate bullying and nemesis can catch up with your child sooner than later. If it does not stop at the beginning stage itself, bullies can grow up to be misfits, have problems with the law and may even become addicted to alcohol or drugs.
Talking to the teacher at school will also be a good idea. Working together with the teacher will be a better proposition than working alone as the teacher has a better chance of observing actual bullying behavior. Find ways to stop such behavior by mutual consultation. Teachers are usually more than willing, as schools do not like bullying.
Talking to the parents of other children who may be part of a group of bullies is also a good idea as most parents are not aware of such behavior in their children. Parents acting together to put a stop to bullying carries a powerful message to the children and can act as a great incentive to stop such behavior.
Lastly, address the reason why your child is bullying other children. Enable the child to get more attention and fit in with other children without having to bully others. If there are other medical or psychological problems like bipolar disorder or low self-esteem, professional help may be necessary to get your child back to normal. Giving positive reinforcement to your child will be the ideal way to stop the bullying.